“Reflections of A Woman’s Indiscretions“
This book is dedicated to my mother Elena, grandmothers Josephine & Evril,
& to all the Ladies in my life –
Strong women I have seen
Prevail no matter the circumstances or challenges.
He listened when I spoke, showered me with sweet words, and took care of my needs. But he was also a bad boy: street smart, intelligent, and feared–It was a turn-on! After all, I always had a thing for bad boys. I think it was the gangster movies that enhanced this preference of mine like The Godfather, Good Fellas, Scarface, The Untouchables, and the American Gangster. I loved the men that played in those movies: rough and hard; smart and wise; and, good to their women. Slimm was that man. He totally gained my heart and trust. He made me feel like a woman.
Summer 2004: The Beginning of A New
My relationship with my husband Blu was a dysfunctional mess–long before Slimm entered my life. [If I were to elaborate on the deterioration of my marriage, I’d have to write another book entirely. But don’t worry I will reveal my experiences and feelings including Blu’s to provide clarity and understanding into my world].
Blu and I married very young and quick; we encountered many factors and obstacles that were too difficult to move past. Following our marital separation, my children and I moved to Moreno Valley, a community located in the Inland Empire (about 70 miles east of Los Angeles). I moved in with my dad and his family, and once I got situated, I enrolled my kids into school and began to accept what my life was going to be like without Blu–considering we’d been together since I was 18. I knew it was going to be a challenge, but then again, “what wasn’t a challenge in my life?”–it’s about how you perceived it. I had the kids Monday through Friday, and the weekends were reserved for Blu. While the kids spent time with their dad, I spent my time with Slimm.
It was a tough situation, but it was working. And with that, the beginning of my relationship with Slimm was becoming very convenient. But I suppose new love always feels like that until you hit a bump in the road. And in my case, one bump was followed by many– increasingly over time.
The time that Slimm and I shared together were amazing: He was spontaneous and outgoing; having fun has always been a part of the plan. Whether it was dinner and a movie; go-kart riding; barbecuing at the beach; bowling; or hitting a club, it was always a good time. He went out of his way to please me and I appreciated it; my husband was the complete opposite. It was the little things he did that held my attention like; rubbing my feet; taking time out of his day to take me to lunch; or sending flowers to my job after a disagreement to illustrate his sincere regrets. I was in love. It felt amazing to love someone and be loved back–that’s all I ever wanted! Loving Slimm and his charming ways was so easy. So imagine how astounded I was, with less than a month after separating from my husband, that Slimm would flip the script on me.
September 2004: The End of Summer
It was the weekend, and the kids were with their father. Since Slimm and I didn’t have our own place, we spent more than enough money to stay at hotel rooms – this was our weekend ritual. On this particular night Slimm went out and came in at about 2 am. He woke me up from my sleep and turned the lamp on, which was fixated on the nightstand. My eyes squinted; the glow from the lamp was extra bright. He gently caressed my body and told me to come sit on his lap–I meekly followed his instruction. He was calm and tender; the way he always was. But that night it was to deceive me; thinking that everything was good when actuality it was ALL BAD. What started out so tenderly would actually end up so terribly.
He began to tell me about his night, and how he was in a heated argument with Blu’s best friend, Farrell. I saw the anger oozing out of him and it was apparent that Farrell said something that really perturbed Slimm. And so, I sat there staring at him affectionately, not knowing what would come next. Then all of sudden he yanked me by the arm and demanded to know what I told Blu. I suppose he needed to take his anger out on someone and he chose me. I had no idea what he was talking about, which I told him so. But, this frustrated him even more. He started cursing, saying upsetting words,
“I knew I couldn’t fuckin’ trust you!”
“What are you talking about?!” I didn’t tell Blu anything,” I responded in complete utterness.
I could not believe what was happening. What started as a conversation had turned into a fighting match between me and him–with me trying to escape his huge hands. I climbed back onto the bed to distance myself from him, but it didn’t matter. He grabbed me by my clothes, and once I was in his clutches, he began to strangle me; his hands were firm around my neck. Grasping for air I began to kick him as hard as I could, until he let go. He finally let go of me, but without warning he did the unthinkable: BAM! He head-butted me directly in the forehead!
I laid on the bed, holding my head, and cried in pain; while he walked around the room ranting and raving–spitting saliva everywhere. I…
Click Here to read End of Chapter 1: Love
- Saturday Book Read w/ Sharine Jones, Chapter 1: Love (princesdailyjournal.com)
- Spotlight Feature: Sharine Jones, Rising Author and Advocate Against Domestic Violence (princesdailyjournal.com)